My Story

My yoga journey began when I was studying at Drama School. I was looking for a way to keep fit and healthy. I found the gym boring and the only time I ran was for a bus or train! A friend suggested that I should try yoga and took me along to her weekly class. The exercise was gentle but worked deeply into my body, and I came out of the class feeling stretched, stronger, energised yet relaxed and my mind was clearer, focused. That was it, I was hooked and my passion for yoga began and still  continues 25 years on.

Yoga was my constant, it kept me energised and calm. It wasn’t until I was performing in children’s theatre that I realised my love (and skills) I had for working with children. A fellow actor planted a seed in my head about joining my passions together, children’s theatre and yoga and Yoganory was born. I have been sharing the gift of yoga through storytelling to children for 14 years and still find it rewarding, sometimes challenging but always a joy.

It was also around this time my husband of 2 years and I started trying for a baby. Now we had been together 10 years at this point and we were always very keen to have children together, so over the years there had been lots of “unprotected” practise for this moment! – obviously we knew something wasn’t quite right as we had never naturally fallen pregnant. 

So the investigations began… and our world fell apart! 

We were diagnosed with ‘Unexplained Infertility’ A really unhelpful diagnosis as where do you go from there? How do I help myself if I do not know what the root cause of the problem is? My husband and I decided not to tell anyone about our situation. It was private. I/we felt at a loss, ashamed, alone, not in control and very sad, it hurt deeply. 

It did not help that being newly married the pressure began to build from relatives and friends; we dreaded the constantly asked question “When are you going to have children?” and again when strangers and acquaintances innocently asked  “Do you have kids?” It was a constant reminder of our fertility problems. So,to escape (and looking back; punish myself/body a little) I immersed myself into my work. 

My yoga journey was growing organically. I was now being asked to teach family yoga and the stressed burnt out staff at schools where I taught Yoganory. I didn’t feel my children’s yoga training and self practise qualified me to do this, so I took myself off to Greece to study a 200 hour intensive teacher training course and gained my certification. It was whilst in Greece I got the phone call from my husband telling me the good news that our fertility case had been reviewed by the NHS and we were eligible for IVF treatment.

It was time to fasten our seatbelts and ride the fertility emotional rollercoaster again. Injections , steroids, hormones, EMOTIONS! Over the next 3 years I had 3 rounds of medically assisted procedures. 

We had decided to still keep our fertility struggles to ourselves and without realising it at the time my fertility consumed me. Everywhere I looked I saw baby bumps (a bit like when you decide to buy a blue car you start seeing blue cars everywhere!) Friends announcing their pregnancy news and feeling the mixed emotions of happiness for them and deep raw sadness. I got very good at putting on a mask, not just when attending their baby showers but to all social engagements, where I knew I would be asked the dreaded question. Every time like a stab in the heart and a kick to the womb! It was a very stressful time and I felt disconnected not just to those around me but also to my body. 

Our first round of IVF was a success, but sadly I miscarried early in the pregnancy. It was then we confided in close family and friends. We tried again but this time it was unsuccessful and I felt like I had let everyone who knew about our struggles down (the unnecessary pressures we put on ourselves hey!)

The third attempt we had decided would be our last. It was putting an enormous strain on me, my body, my mental health, bank balance and my relationship with my amazing supportive husband.

So together we decided we had 2 options;

Option 1  – Success and fulfilling our dream of becoming parents. Wonderful!

Option 2  – Unsuccessful. Also wonderful because although childless, we would live a ‘selfish’ life together doing all the things we love, with no ties holding us back.

(Adoption was not an option for us but I have since gone on to support others through adoption with my yoga work.)

3rd Round of IVF Result = Option 2

Of course it took me a while to feel my “childless” life was wonderful, as I had to process, to grieve, and heal. My yoga practise again became my constant and it was at this time I knew I didn’t want anyone to feel the way I did on my fertility journey. I wanted to help support others through their fertility journeys and I knew yoga would help. I researched and trained in nutritional supplement support and Yoga for Fertility and First Trimester. It was a completely different style of Yoga that I was used to and had been practising throughout my own fertility journey. This style of yoga was like Yoga in a hug! I could feel the poses nourishing my body and relaxing every part of me, it helped me give myself permission to let go. I learnt how to love my body again, to be kinder and forgiving towards myself. I felt myself taking back control and I wanted to share this with others as I knew this would deeply benefit and complement their fertility journey.

And so I did.

10 years ago I started supporting ladies trying to conceive, feel more relaxed, connected and in control, making their fertility journeys a happier one by offering 121 support and group yoga classes. It’s a powerful feeling connecting with others who fully understand and such a joy when I receive messages of positive pregnancy tests and pictures of babies from the ladies I have worked with, sometimes briefly, others for a few years and I am truly grateful to each and everyone of them for trusting me at this very personal time.

 Today, I can honestly say hand on heart, hand on womb, I am happy. 

My life is not childless. I am a proud Auntie of 2 gorgeous nephews, 2 beautiful nieces and I am honoured to be a Godmother to 2 lovely Goddaughters. I also continue to teach yoga to children through Yoganory and hubby and I try to live our best life doing all the things we love.

Thank you for reading my story.